02 August, 2011

5 Years Ago today

Technically for my family it was 5 years ago today that we received a phone call that would change us forever.

Due to the time difference of us living in Japan at the time, we received the call that my Husbands 2nd oldest brother had passed away. It was heart breaking, shocking we moved quickly to get things in order so we could fly from Japan to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to be with the family.

The service was beautiful, my husband and our niece both sang, the oldest brother Chuck delivered the eulogy. I was not a stranger to death or family members passing but Lamar's passing had a much stronger effect on me then anyone who had passed before him. I felt true loss...

Rather than focus regret, I like to focus on the positive. How he stood beside my Husband on our wedding day, the hilarity that ensued while I sat on his lap for DH to remove my garter..The time the girls and I were able to spend with him when we lived with him, his wife Adrien & son Beau for 3 months. My daughters and I were able to get to know and become close with all 3 of them. One of his greatest joys was cooking, I never seen anyone just throw stuff together like him and have it taste so wonderful.

The Tree House DH & Lamar built in the backyard for the girls entertainment purposes while we lived there. I loved how he would say "Good Morning Mon-stahs" to the girls while they were eating breakfast, one of the best photos I have of him is one of the girls in a Cowboy hat on his knee while he is the galloping horse, such pure joy in that photo shining through.

There have been heartbreaking moments. While visiting Baton Rouge this year, the first in 2 or 3 I believe.  Youngest DD who will be 12 in one week was rather young 5 years ago.. so as we are driving to our destination we hear crying from the back of the car and of course we are alarmed and ask her what is wrong and she says Peaches, that is what Uncle Lamar was called.. Peaches promised he would be around forever, he promised he would always be there for us. Of course this made all of us emotional in the car and we all started to cry and as well as console her. Even writing this I still get choked up..

Edward Lamar Flaherty
Aug. 1, 2006
Edward Lamar Flaherty, 44, of Baton Rouge, La., a caterer, died in Kona Community Hospital. He was born in Baton Rouge, La. He is survived by wife Adrien; son Beau; mother Verien N.; brothers Charles "Chuckie," Andrew and Fredrick; and sisters Della Neely and Belinda. Services to be held in Baton Rouge.

The Tattoo on my Husband.. a Tribute to his brother..
The resemblance is beautiful

The Christmas Tree (3 years later I believe) Every Frame on the Tree had a picture of Lamar
@ Adriens house

With all of our Love to you, thank you for watching over us..

**sorry if this post is whacked, my thoughts are a million miles a minute and I am not sure if I am making  sense or sticking to one thought at a time, but you know what I am pushing the publish button anyways**

Lamar was diagnosed with Diabetes as a teenager (or close to it, I am not exactly sure). By the time I had the privilege of meeting Lamar "Uncle Peaches"  or just "Peaches" he had lost his eye sight due to Diabetes and a bad eye surgery. He was legally blind. I met him a few days before we my Wedding Day, I remember asking my husband often "what did he say?". Later I often referred to it as Boomhauer (on King of the Hill) speak. I was married in Feb. of 97 and in June we flew to Louisiana so I could meet the rest of the family. We were there about a month and I was 7-8 months pregnant. The following year on Thanksgiving Lamar & his family came to California and showed DH how to deep fry a Turkey, it was my first and it was fantastic. DD # 2 came along and when she was almost 2 we took another trip to Louisiana, it was during this trip I believe that we all really clicked. I no longer thought he spoke like Boomhauer and 85-90% of the time I understood exactly what he was saying.

I am not sure of how often or if we were able to visit again before my DH moved to Japan and I went to live with Lamar & his family with children in tow for what we thought would be close to a year.

 At this point in time (2004) Lamar was in bad shape he was on dialysis, he was on the transplant list relatives that could be tested were to se if they were a match. Being there was suppose to be helpful to them as well, I feel selfish that it was so much more for me & the girls because we walked away with so much. I tried to do my best as a housemate, and to try and keep 2 young ones entertained or quiet when he wasn't well. I took him on a couple occasions to his appointments. Then faith stepped in and he received a phone call, off Adrien & Lamar went to New Orleans.. Later we were called and told he was receiving a kidney and pancreas transplant, we all were overjoyed. He became the "poster" child of transplants, it was such a joy to see life and happiness return to him. Unfortunately the Military messed a few things up and the girls and I shipped out sooner then we planned.  At that time I was not very good at showing my emotions so when we said goodbye my heart was breaking, but I knew I had to go on and be with  my husband in the foreign Country. Life moved forward, Lamar & Adrien took a trip to Hawaii and he enjoyed snorkeling. Hurricane Katrina hit and Lamar cooked something to do with Tommy Franks, he even sent us a picture. Somewhere between this I am unsure of the timeline exactly, Lamar & his son Beau started a Catering company. He took another trip to Hawaii it was said that he was looking into possibly opening a restaurant. He went snorkeling with his wife, she got tired and went ashore he said down a bit longer only to come ashore and pass away in the arms of the woman he loved.

1 comment:

  1. Girlfriend, what a awesome tribute to one so obviously loved. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us. As I type this I am tearing up just thinking about what a wonderful influence your children had around them and how blessed they are to have known such an awesome man. Thank you! God Bless your beautiful family!



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